Parents need to grow up!

Mir Ameer Ansari, a bubbling teenager of IIS Dammam, bid adieu to this world. Why? The stimulus for this action was the results of the class 12 Board exams where Ameer got a compartment in one paper Why? What forced this teenager to take the drastic action of apparently leaping from a tall building? Was it the System, the Parents, the society? The pressure got the better of a young mind and his life ended even before it had the chance to bloom, leaving the Indian community in Dammam not only shell shocked but bewildered at what went so horribly wrong? Indeed we need to ponder over this. It is not a case of one young Ameer. It concerns our children, our future. Post exams results, we see and hear sulking children, angry and despondent parents, snarling teachers. There is dejection and feeling of rejection. Poor result makes the child uneasy. The fear of parental rejection looms large. There is loss of self esteem as ridicule from the peer group only adds to the growing unbearable pressure. This is when little children are forced to extremes. Perhaps this is the first point to stop and ponder. The society has created a monster called MARKS. Today, marks are everything. Be it the school or the home. Poor marks means that the child is a good for nothing character and deserves castigation. The teacher will pass comments, friends will ridicule and parents will express disgust. The child is lost. Parents remind me of the advertisements of Onida TV and Nirma detergent. The parent growls , “how come our neighbour’s child got better marks’?? Parental expectations become overbearing. This needs to stop. Parents need to understand that there is world beyond Marks. They need to take stock of reality. Each child is unique and should never be compared with another. Each child deserves to live his own life as per his own abilities and capabilities. Parents role should be to develop the child’s abilities and to attempt to create when none exist. School Management committee is as dazed as we are and I reached out to them to share my grief and feelings.” I have tried to counsel parents that they must focus on the concept of integral and inclusive growth of the child. Class 12 marks have a short life span and are forgotten once the child enters the college. But the overall growth will be an asset all his life”, said the school chairman Theeru. “ I am shocked to hear about our student Mir Ameer. He had the whole life before him, so what if he got a compartment in one subject? “ Life is not a bed of roses and each student should realize that hardships and failures are part and parcel of life”, said E.K.Mohammad Shaffe, the principal of IIS Dammam. Shaffe, holding a condolence meeting in the school appealed to the parents to build a warm relationship with the child and try to understand each child. “ Teachers should also be on the look out for those children who show tendencies of withdrawal and take them personally to the school counselor”, said the principal.I do see wisdom in his expressions. A teacher has first hand interaction with the child and can surely feel the pulse. Ambitions and aspirations of parents become a burden on their children and this adds to the burgeoning pressure. Parent child relationship needs to be redefined. The child is immature and he should be counseled by the parents that results of any exams are not a testimony of one real abilities. Parents should look at one’s efforts and not the results and learn to live with the reality- not everyone can be brilliant. Learn to appreciate what one has and not what one looks for. “ We should do a reality check and know the capability of our child. This will be good for all. I see so many parents wanting their child to opt for science stream although he is just not fit for it. Rather than accept the fact, parents pretend to be like the ostrich and force the child into subjects which he cannot handle. For sure, he will do badly and then the parents will humiliate and punish the child. This should stop”, said a shocked Shoaib A Qureshi, a parent and one who has been associated with education for decades. “This is the first time the community in Dammam has faced such a shock. Let us ensure that this is not repeated,” said Dr Khawaja Zubair, a parent and whose wife is a teacher. This is a wake up call for the community that values superficial achievements over their wards life. This is a wake up call for those who though love their children, nevertheless get lost somewhere in the mad rush for worldly gains. Parents need to realise that each balloon has its own capacity and we should blow as much air as the balloon can take. A burst balloon has no value and can only cause distress....if only I had blown less air, the balloon would still be there !

Let the Doves prevail!

Yes, we did !! Indeed, the whiff of “ Yes, we can”, could be felt even before the bullets tried in vain to scare the enthusiastic voter away! The people of the nation had made up their mind. They were determined and no amount of bullying could deter them! “Yes, we did it” ! shouts a beaming a young Pakistani as he watches the nations flags fluttering proudly! Earlier Indian films and music found favour with the Pakistanis, but this time shades of Karnataka elections could be seen as the PPP was decimated beyond recognition a la BJP style! Not just Karnataka, India seems to have influenced the outcome in a big way. Imran Khan became the Anna Hazare , raising the torch of Anti Corruption, but regrettably, with limited success. Coalitions of India have followed them with no single party emerging with outright majority though Nawaz Sharif might just cross the line. Different governments in provinces will be the Achilles heels in the days to come. And governance is bound to suffer. Hence, rejoicings in India may be either premature or short-lived. If we do not go into premeditated and willing amnesia, we would remember that Nawaz Sharif was the spirit behind the Kargil misadventure. Allegations of rigging may never be proved and the nation has to accept the results as they are. Yes, it is acknowledged that the route to ruling Pakistan goes through Punjab where around 55% of the parliament comes from there. Probably a couple of decades back, Nawaz had chanted “Jaag Punjabi Jaag”! Punjabis have woken up 20 years late! Although there was mass hysteria about Captain Khan, the reality was that he was still a novice in the art of politics. Imran Khan certainly inspired the youth but then not all youth are voters and not all voters are youth. Then the rural youth has a different perspective and they are followers of preconceived notions, prejudices and biases. Voting in rural Pakistan is also like rural India. Vote for all factors other than efficiency, honesty and integrity. Money power, muscle power and regional power powers the voter to take decisions that are suicidal not only for himself but for his community, his society, his nation. I have always said that democracy sans literacy and drenched in poverty is an albatross that sinks you deeper into the quicksand. The more you try to extricate yourself, the more doomed you are. Democracy needs education and enlightenment Democracy is no panacea for ills unless literacy is the guiding force. Until then, criminals will continue to get elected under the garb of politicians. It is indeed unfortunate that Pakistan’s politics is like that of Tamil Nadu. Either Jaya Lalita or Karunanidhi! Tahreek-e-Insaf party did flatter to deceive! If Pakistan has to benefit from this current flirt with Democracy, then the people of the nation have to learn to be honest and then practice honesty. They need to ensure that Nawaz delivers by piling on sustained pressure on the government. Being an eternal optimist, I expect the provincial governments of PPP, PTI (possible) to pressurize the central government by doing good work in their regions. It is expected that conservatives will call the shots in the coming days. Not only at the national level but also in the provinces. Captain Imran has the most unenviable task of balancing the drone riddled Khyber Pakhtun khan. He has to now walk the rather bold and aggressive talk. This is a wonderful opportunity for neighbouring India to not only provide stability to a floundering democracy but also to ensure minimum reliance on extreme and fringe elements. Business with Pakistan should be based on hard realities and not sentiments of the rightists. Let the doves prevail over the hawks and create a unique and pleasant Indo-Pak history!

Raja Bhaiyya, Modi and the Pup

Yesterday three things caught my attention. One was Raja Bhaiyya, the other was Modi and the last one was a beautiful German shepherd pup next door whining all night in his new home. Much as the little pup attracts me, I have to focus on the two “honourable” men as they have been making decibels the whole day yesterday. All the TV channels had forgotten their ‘Pups’ and latched on to these two who made headlines for reasons best known to them. Intriguingly enough, I found a fair similarity between Raja bhaiyya and Modi. Both are famous(infamous) in their own territory and they wield power which is unique to them. Both are politicians. Both have won their elections in our free democracy. Both claim to be leaders of the masses. Both are feared in their regions and both have scant respect for democratic functioning. And yes, one more. None of them have been convicted in any court of law across India! But perhaps, the long arm of law shall catch up sooner or later…… Now, let’s focus on Modi. One must confess that the he has hired one of the best PR honchos for his upliftment( remember Adnan Sami’s Lift kara dey…?) All kinds of Gurus are busy in “Lift kara dey” for Modi. And I am not looking at the volume of moolah that must have flowed to achieve what we are seeing! Now, this latest brouhaha over Wharton is very fascinating! Just see the bigger picture…The Students body of Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania invited Modi as one of the keynote speakers at the prestigious meet scheduled to be held on March 23 in Philadelphia. However, the management has reservations over his inclusion in the speakers' list and asked for his name to be dropped. One must note that it was NOT the University that had invited Modi! And they are well within their rights to review a decision taken by the students. And since there was almost three weeks, they cancelled the invite. Is there anything wrong??? I do suppose they must have expressed regrets or apologies for the cancellation. Why are we wailing our heads off? One Chetan Bhagat comes on TV and says that this is not fair, another Suresh Prabhu says that this is disrespect to India!! I wonder what they see that I cannot. And I am not short sighted, at least, as yet. Bhagat should know that this is the privilege of the host to invite or cancel( yes, with due courtesy). When Modi was invited, did he seek the permission of the Govt of India? No! This was a very personal decision. So, why poke barbs at the government that this is a huge disrespect to the nation!! This was a personal invite and it should have remained so. Why waste the time of the nation? And this should be realized by the overzealous TV anchors. Adani withdraws from Wharton. Well, he had to. After all, past favours need to show up for future continuity. And now to Minister Raja bhaiyya. He too is crying foul! Claims innocence! But ask Mrs Haq….the wife of the slain cop. Similarity with Zakia Jaffrey is purely coincidental? But the poor Pup. His cries attract none. Tied and threatened, his whining becomes faint. I get the feeling of Déjà vu!

Modi can change the equation

Once again Narender Modi is in the news. And this time it is for some very different reasons. And he is enjoying every bit of the media clamour for him! He is already strutting around as the next PM of India! Well, why not? After all, he is a citizen of India and has every reason to visualize his future. And also because there is acute shortage of leaders and issues in the BJP. They are bereft of genuine leadership and issues on which they can lay a claim to run the nation. Modi comes in handy. Being controversial helps at times. You may hate him, you may detest him but you cannot ignore him! And this is where Modi has emerged as the front runner for 2014 hustings. Honestly, I do not see a scenario where Modi becomes the PM. Probably even he knows it. But it is a good ploy from many aspects. Firstly, it sort of cuts down the light weight( but voluminous) leaders who pretend to be heavy weights! Then, it gives them a chance to polarize the nation. And this suits the BJP. They all know that the NDA allies will not accept Modi as a PM candidate. They may ultimately accept him if the numbers allow, is a different matter. But, none would like to begin the campaign with this perspective. Today BJP is celebrating Modi. They are smart. They have killed two birds with one stone. They have thrown the cat amidst the pigeons. Also they have thrown an issue to the general public at large and now they wait to see which result suits them…the pigeons being slaughtered or the public swallowing the pill! Nitesh Kumar is under pressure and test. BJP is assessing what they gain of Modi declared PM even if they loose Nitesh. Nitesh is in a quandary and Laloo has rubbed it in already by asking Nitesh to make his stand clear. Congress waits and watches. After repeated hara-kiri attempts, the UPA has still survived and may well survive if Modi is declared PM candidate and Nitesh walks away to the UPA camp.